Having a dream is hard work

A friend of mine said to me that she could not compromise nor give up on her dreams for anyone or anything because she loves herself and her dreams too much to put them aside. Don't judge her from that statement, she is a beautiful person and has pretty much taught me how to be a good friend. She is the reason I got to work for TWLOHA last year and am now working for Soundwave this year.

However, I was affected by the statement because it made me question my priorities. Am I compromising on my dreams for other people, material goods or anything else? Could I be doing more to achieve what I want? Am I failing myself?

My life is fuller than it has ever been. I live with my amazing and inspirational big sister whom has decided we should high five each other - tag team style - when ever we see one another because her life is busier than mine. I have a boyfriend who lives an hour away from me, my best friends from Tafe who I have to organise to see now we have separate lives since they finished, a large chunk of my family now live in the same state as me, I have school, I have work and I still see my therapist once a fortnight.

I am so grateful for my family, friends and boyfriend. They are the people who bring me back to earth during times where I question myself. I have surrounded myself with people who are supportive of my dreams to be successful in the music industry, this blog and my goal to work for TWLOHA. It's these people who bring me out of my self-doubting moods and show me what I have to be grateful for.

I didn't always surround myself with people who had as much faith in me or the world. They would tell me that people like me don't get to do 'those things' or that it was pointless to try. Having mini freak outs as I have this week, help me to reassess where I am at and this week it showed me I am better than ever.

On another note next weeks post will probably be late. I will be in Sydney next weekend for Soundwave and have a busy week after with school, a birthday, Sidewaves and Melbournes Soundwave. However, this means that it should be filled with the awesome details of the biggest week of my life so far.

I'm not a grown up yet...

Volunteering for Soundwave so far has been a very fun experience.

The people I am working with are very nice and being able to work alongside a friend always makes things way more pleasant. I spent the week doing admin duties.

The only thing that is getting me down is my age. I know I am still young but there are people who are at my level starting out in the industry much younger than me. Many have more experience than me.

I tend to forget my age, mainly because it doesn't matter to me. I have friends of all ages, my boyfriend is 20, my sister whom is also my flatmate is 30.

I just have to remind myself why I am here and that if I show how passionate I am, people aren't going to judge me for my age but for what I can do.

The exciting part of the week is that I have my tickets booked to and from Sydney so I will definitely be able to make it to work there for Soundwave!

When it comes to going to America next year, I have a small cheque that will be arriving to me by mail. When that comes, it will be the opening for my savings account that I plan to only deposit money into until next year. I think I will be able to sort out my credit history once Soundwave is over. Currently Soundwave is taking the chunk of my earnings that doesn't go on cigarettes or living essentials but it's worthwhile in my eyes.

I've added buttons to the top of the page so the comments and posts on my blog are easier to follow, please feel free to comment any suggestions you have or if you enjoy my blog share it with your friends.

I have a long way to go on this journey and am finding it very easy to be distracted by the allure of instant gratification that comes with shopping for things I like rather than saving for this dream I want. Any comments of encouragement will also be received with much gratitude.

Wishing you well this week.

Thanks for reading!

Soundwave Festival Looms! :D

Things certainly are getting busy this month!

I am volunteering for the Soundwave Festival which has HEAPS of amazing bands playing, such as:

Iron Maiden

Queens Of The Stone Age

Slayer

Primus

Bullet For My Valentine

Devil Driver

The Ataris

Less Than Jake

Coheed and Cambria and lots more.

My friends and I are privileged enough to be doing some admin duties with the team this week, working back stage in Sydney and working crowd care in Melbourne. This means free entry to both Sydney and Melbourne and we might just bump into some rock stars!

I am also hoping to rendezvous with the guys from To Write Love On Her Arms at these events. We have organised that I will help out with the tent in Melbourne but my friend Kendall and I may be working for them in Adelaide as well. I have absolutely no issue with going to three Soundwave Festival Festivals.

Working for To Write Love On Her Arms will be an excellent opportunity to quiz them about the internship. Both of the lovely young lads who are attending Soundwave Festival this year were once interns and they should be able to give me an idea on what it would entail and how much money I'm really going to need for my stay. Also maybe get some expert tips on how to get accepted!

I've been talking to almost anyone about what I plan to do next year. I have been given some excellent encouragement but not enough people know enough about the charity to understand why I want to go. Please check out http://www.twloha.com/vision/ for a comprehensive description of what TWLOHA is all about.

Looking forward to all the exciting things that are going to happen this month. With much more to come.

Cheers for reading!

Libs

New Beginnings Born Of Hope and Rehabilitation

When I was just about to turn 20, I was diagnosed with depression. I wasn't surprised. I had no idea what to do with my life. I thought my existence was a mistake. I believed that no matter what I tried I would fail.

The past five years have been a recovery from the darkness that is depression. I have been through some of the worst and hardest times of my life. I have also been through the best times of my life. I had no idea that I could be as happy as i have discovered I can be. I have become part of the world, with much help of a great cognitive therapist, an amazing support network, and finding a new way to follow my dreams.

This is where you find me:

I am 25 years old.

I'm finishing my Bachelor of Applied Business in Music Industry (A business degree).

Next year I want to become a summer intern for To Write Love On Her Arms located in the USA.

I have absolutely no savings, I do not know if I will be accepted into the program and I need to clear up my credit history due to flat mates who didn't pay their bills.

I have a dream that seems nearly unachievable for me at this point in my life. This is the first time I've decided on a goal for myself, that has an ultimate time limit. I'm going to have to do some kind of fundraising, a lot of working and be really strict on myself when it comes to spending.

I am absolutely scared out of my mind.

It doesn't seem like a big deal reading this over but for me, wow, I've decided I'm going to plan how to live my life.

When I was a teenager I used to tell people that I was going to kill myself when I turned 21. They thought I was kidding. I wasn't. I couldn't see any value in living past 21. In becoming an adult.

It wasn't until I was 22 when I proved myself wrong. I started my degree. It has been one of the most fulfilling and life affirming things I have ever undertaken in my life.

I started as an unhappy, self harming, isolated, hopeless, unmotivated person. I now have friends. I have learned how to do and be part of activities that I thought only rich kids and rock stars got to do. I have been taught by very inspirational teachers and I have learned how to exist like a human being with life left to live.

Following updates will include more about TWLOHA, the internship program, my life and anything else that I feel needs to be in here, as well as updates on my progress towards getting to America!

Cheers for reading,

Libs